"We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand." ~Randy Pausch

Thursday, September 30, 2010

When You're a Mom...

...there are no days off.

Jason's been sick and in bed since Friday. I don't remember what it's like to be sick and get to sleep all day. Even when I was in the hospital I didn't rest much. We had soccer last night and we're running out of food at home. I need to go to the grocery store but can't find the time. I have dialysis today and I'm hoping I feel alright when I'm finished. Then I can get Anna, go to the store and still get Alli from school. Man!

...you're always running around.

Anna had a follow up appointment with the Clinic at the hospital yesterday. She did great! She weighs 6 pounds 3 ounces! It took six weeks for her to double her weight. She's doing so well. She's approaching the 50th percentile for weight.

The doctor and nurses were surprised that her head is so round. They are used to seeing flat spots. But Anna's neck is so strong that she can move her head around and isn't laying on just on side. Good stuff.

They did hear a slight heart murmur. But, I had so many fetal echos and they didn't see any structural problems. So they called it a "flow murmur." It's something that her pediatrician will follow but it's supposed to resolve itself as she approaches our due date. I can't believe she's not even supposed to be here yet!

Most babies will return to the Clinic every two weeks. But Anna's doing so well that they don't want to see her again until she's 6 months. Woohoo!

...you worry all the time.

It seems all I do these days is worry. I worry about the girls. I worry about what their lives will be like if I have to stay on dialysis. If I can't find a donor then I'm stuck on this machine three days a week. It limits the things I can do with them and for them. I worry about my job. How can I keep working if I need time off for treatments and doctors appointments? I'm already out of sick days, so we have no income for a while. There's another worry. It's no wonder my blood pressure is so high.

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